Why Emotions Can Still Take Over Even When You Understand Them

There’s something I hear often that I want to talk about today, because it catches a lot of people off guard.

People say they understand emotions better now. They know emotions are signals. They know they’re not supposed to suppress or ignore them. And yet, emotions still seem to take over before there’s any chance to respond differently. By the time irritation, anxiety, or shutdown is noticed, it already feels too late.

That gap can be frustrating. It can make it feel like emotional self-care just isn’t working.

What’s usually missing isn’t effort or insight. It’s timing.

From a neuroscience standpoint, emotional activation starts in the nervous system before conscious awareness. Subtle shifts in tension, breathing, and energy happen automatically. When awareness arrives late, the brain defaults to familiar patterns under load, and reactions feel automatic — even when you “know better.”

The video I’m sharing today focuses on this exact issue. It looks at emotional awareness as a nervous system skill, not something you reason your way into or try harder at. It’s about learning how to notice emotional signals while they are happening, before they escalate.

You can watch the video here

This isn’t about fixing emotions or managing them yet. It’s about contact — staying present with signals as they arise so the system doesn’t immediately slip into reaction.

Thank you for spending this time with me and for continuing to engage with this work. I’m really glad we’re doing it together.

Warmly,
Sheila

ARC Director, Certified FARA